A LITTLE HARRIS-Y:
Growing Godly Children #4
“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
When I began this series, I introduced my philosophy of parenting through the three-part analogy of gardening: In order to grow a healthy garden, you intentionally have to plant the seeds, pull the weeds, and provide the nutrients. in the same way, growing godly children requires intentional teaching, loving discipline, and genuine relationship. However, in the midst of writing these, I was reminded of the fact that, no matter how diligently you do your part to disciple the children God has entrusted to you, how they turn out is ultimately their choice. Wonderful men and women of God have emerged from the worst of families, and many parents who did their best have lost their children to the earthly, natural, and demonic philosophies of bitter jealousy and selfish ambition, which create disorder and evil (James 3:13-18). In gardening, you can plant all you want in weed-free compost, but without water, nothing will grow. Likewise, we can plant the Gospel in our children’s ears, but God is the gardener who brings the increase of fruit in their lives (1 Cor. 3:6-8). Peter teaches that God desires all people to come to Him in repentance and that He does not hope for anyone to perish (2 Pet. 3:9). He also says that the devil is real and that he roams around like a lion seeking to devour people (1 Pet. 5:8). In view of this unseen battle, Paul instructs Christians to take the fight to our knees, saying “With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints” (New American Standard Bible Eph. 6:18). How our children respond to the truth is their own choice, but we have been given the powerful tool of prayer through which God can soften their hearts to accept His truth. Therefore, after planting, pulling, and providing, we must pray.
Praying for Rain
There are so many things that we should seek God’s blessing for in the lives of our children, and I know that I will not even scratch the surface of the topic, but I would love to submit the following points:
Pray that your children would learn to love God – Psalm 63:1-8 portrays a person who is enamored with God in a way that I pray my children will be. Ultimately, my goal is that my children will become worshipers of God. Not necessarily that they will join the church choir, but that they will learn the beauty of a heart relationship with God in which they do all they do out of loving submission, dedication, and devotion for the One who created, saved, and called them.
Pray that your children would learn to love Scripture – People who earnestly love God but lack the solid grounding of Scripture to guide and direct their lives are often hurled headlong into empty beliefs about Him that have no power for godly living (Eph. 4:14; 2 Tim. 3:1-9). I often ponder how people can claim to love or fear a God that, based on their unbiblical doctrine, they do not seem to actually know. I also wonder why people who have a low view of Scripture follow Christ, who relied on Scripture for spiritual warfare, said that Scripture could not be broken, promised that Scripture would outlast heaven and earth, claimed the truth of Scripture and relied on Scripture for God’s cleansing work, and submitted Himself to its authority (Matt. 4:1-11; 19:3-6; 24:35; Luke 16:17; John 10:35; 17:17). If our children are to become like Christ they must become people of God’s Word.
Pray that your children would learn to love prayer – Attached to the last two prayer points is the prayer that our children would love speaking to the God they love. Many have noted that the power of the Christian life lies in prayer. I have even heard it said that a minister is only as good as his prayer life. Personal prayerfulness grants our children their best chance of success in living out His will in their lives, and we have the opportunity to influence their prayer lives by asking God to bless them with a longing and desire to spend time with Him in prayer.
Pray that your children would learn to love people – Jesus, cites Leviticus 19:18, “you shall love your neighbor as yourself,” as the second greatest of all God’s commandments, and gives its paraphrase “do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” as the motto of His kingdom (New International Version Matt. 7:12; 22:39 [Luke 6:31]). And the Apostle John points out that anyone who claims to love God yet hates his brethren is a liar (1 John 2:9-11; 3:17; 4:19-20). My prayer is that my kids would honor God by loving those whom He made in His image. My prayer is that they would remember that everyone they come in contact with is someone that Jesus died for, with the hopes of bringing them to saving and transforming faith in Himself.
Pray that your children would learn to love to learn – Unfortunately, many people seem to have forgotten that God calls His followers to love Him with all of their mind and that a foundational aspect of our faith is supposed to be the application of our intelligence (Matt. 22:37). I do not want my kids to ever be satisfied with their understanding of the world. I pray that my children will follow Solomon’s advice and seek wisdom like treasure hunters dig for gold (Prov. 2:4). I would love for my children to become knowledgeable in every field, from music, languages, and the arts to history and literature, as well as science, mechanics, and engineering. I hope for them to surpass me in every field.
Pray that your children would learn to love to work – God also commands His people to love Him with all of their strength/might (Deut. 6:5; Matt. 22:27). According to God’s Word, work did not come as a result of the fall; toil did (Gen. 3:17). Rather than a curse, work was given to mankind as the means by which they would partner with God and reflect His creativity as His stewards of the earth (Gen 2:15). My desire is that my children would love growing in their skills by which they can serve God physically on His earth. I do not want my kids to run from hard work, but to eagerly accept it as their gift in accordance with Ecclesiastes 3:13, which says “that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil – this is God’s gift to man” (English Standard Version).
Pray that your children would learn to love life – God loves life. He designed the world as a home for his living creatures (Gen. 1-2). At the heart of His law is the underlying principle of the value of life (Exod. 20; Deut. 5). And Jesus said that God “is not the God of the dead but of the living” (New American Standard Bible). God has gifted my children with life, and I do not want them to insult Him by unwillingly accepting that gift with discontentment. My prayer is that my kids will demonstrate the joy of the Holy Spirit, which is supposed to exemplify life under God’s rule (Rom. 14:17). I pray for my children to take life head-on with jokes, laughter, smiles, and fun.
At the heart of all of these requests are the two words “learn” and “love.” I always pray for learning, because what I want to instill in my children is not a goal to be attained, but a trajectory of growth to align with. I desire for my children to hunger and thirst for what is good, true, and beautiful, and thus to journey the road of development for their whole lives. Likewise, I learned to add the idea of love to my prayers over my children when I realized that what mattered was their will. I do not hope to raise a family of Pharisees whose lives are in order on the outside, but inwardly are dead and lifeless (Matt 23:27-28). To grow godly children, we train them up as best as we know how, but in the end, we entrust the outcome to God by committing the growth of their hearts to Him in prayer.
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