Silent Words
Hello friends and family!
Thank you so much for engaging with each of the newsletters I’ve been sending so far. Hearing that the things I’m sharing has blessed you has been so encouraging to me. Sometimes the task of sitting down and organizing my thoughts to share sounds daunting, but this has provided a really sweet space to reflect on a week that would have otherwise flown by without being processed. Not only that, but it has provided an opportunity to unite you with my day-to-day here and the abundant work God is doing each week.
This week was definitely our busiest yet. We had 5 community events where we partnered with local churches, as well as our normal schedule of classes and nights of worship and prayer. Below are two pictures to help you visualize what these look like. We had a park outreach and a beach outreach. Right after we arrive and set up our tents and tables and chairs, we usually split into groups to go walk around the area and invite people. We never know how many people will show up or what kind of crowd we will have, but every single time the day turns out to be such a blessing. In the first picture, our park outreach attracted mainly believers in the area and their kids, while the second picture we had a lot more variety in who stopped by our little stations. At one point as I sat at our bracelet making table at the beach, I looked around and saw a few of my teammates in different conversations just sharing the Gospel while they painted someone’s nails or talked to a parent who was waiting for their child to get their face painted.
These outreaches have shown me how hungry people are for love and connection, and how simple things like a dog made out of a balloon, or a really sloppy nail painting job (on my part) can be a doorway to having deeper conversations. I have a tendency to miss out on opportunities to make connections for the kingdom of God because it’s hidden in something so normal and mundane. I get so stuck waiting for the perfect moment that I miss what God is laying in my lap.
The same thing has been true in my spiritual life, especially this last week.
I felt like the fire of spiritual warfare had been turned up at the beginning of last week for some reason. We’ve been reading some incredible books like the Pursuit of God and Radical, as well as hearing from Rob Douglass about the unreached and the truth of being a missionary. But instead of being stirred up and even more passionate, I was feeling mentally foggy and spiritually dry and down. I spent most of my devotional time and times of prayer just asking God to clear up my thoughts and give me “spiritual eyes”. I wanted Him to meet me with His presence. Not a bad prayer, right? But I was missing what God was laying in my lap, what He was doing outside of my narrowed view of what I wanted to see.
On Saturday night we sat down for prayer and intercession and shared some ways we’ve been seeing God’s fingerprints the last week. It was only then that God began to remind me of moments I had each day, not always with Him, but a conversation here and there with other people at an outreach or with another student. I shared with the group that night that last week had felt spiritually silent. I was doubting God’s presence and desire to speak to me. After all, I came here to seek Him and this is supposed to be the place He speaks, isn’t it? But through those conversations, as well as reflecting on my story to share my testimony at an outreach, God reminded me of what He has done in my life. There was no need to doubt His presence or His desire for me. My life is marked by both of those things.
No matter how long I walk with the Lord, I have to constantly be reminded that God’s voice isn’t bound by my expectations or my preparations. I can facilitate His presence and seek out His work, but that is all I am - a facility, an open room, an empty vessel. It’s His choice how to fill me and how to speak to me. As much as I’d like to deny it, I truly am just like the Israelites in the Old Testament, seeing God do miraculous things, and yet SO prone to forget it. I opened up my journal I’ve had since March and read through some prayer requests from just a few months ago that the Lord has already answered, things I forgot I even prayed about.
The word that keeps coming to my mind is steadfast. That means someone or something that is firm, unwavering, and resolutely committed to a belief, purpose, or loyalty. It means to stay completely dedicated and unchanging, even when facing difficulties or opposition. My faith is inconsistent, my confidence is woefully weak, and my trust doesn’t do justice to my God. But God’s consistency and His steadfast presence is enough. I praise God for that. I sit back and rest in this.
The song Remembrance by Hillsong came to mind recently. It talks about living my life in remembrance of Jesus and praising Him for what He’s done. So that is what I will arm myself with. The blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony. God has infused my life with fragrant moments of God’s faithfulness and I need to be faithful to look back on them and hold onto them.
Early this Friday morning we will be flying to Mazatlan to serve at a VBS for a few days. From there, we will be driving for several hours to a remote tribe, where we will stay and minister. The routine will change, we’ll be farther from home, and no doubt the warfare will be turned up a little bit louder. But as I put on my spiritual armor, I want to stay mindful of God’s steadfast presence, to listen for His silent words every day. I am excited to step into the second half of our trip and see how God wants to move.
Thank you for walking alongside me and showering me with prayer. There is so much to share with you all when I get home as well. I’m just storing it up for when I see you face to face and have more than a few paragraphs to share my heart!
Please continue to pray for provision as well, specifically for the rest of my CSOM tuition. I am getting close to meeting the full payment and I would appreciate your prayers and support in that area. Thank you for the generosity many of you have shown as well!
“I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.” Philippians 1:3
Prayer requests:
Continued protection for my jaw and pain relief
Spiritual warfare
Safe travels
Multiplied energy and sleep!
Love you all,
Jadyn
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