April 23, 2016

It has been a busy few months full of a wide variety of various trials, but through it
God has been teaching me to rest in His presence and in His power.

October 16, 2016

Fast forward 6 months and life hasn’t been following the speed limit. I am coming to the realization that life doesn’t slow down, it simply teaches you to run faster.

When I got home from Italy I was plunged back into a routine of work, family, service, and friends that I had missed, but wasn’t really ready to come back to. I wanted to be in Italy. Over the course of a few weeks I readjusted to life at “home,” but the rest I experienced was far from my mind.

So here I am today feeling burnt out, tired, and overwhelmed because I have chosen to get caught up in the tide of responsibility and busyness without first resting in His presence. Too tired to rise early to meet with Him, too busy to commune throughout the day. Too long I’ve come up with excuses to indulge my flesh and because of those excuses I feel more and more frazzled and less and less rested.

It seems that the more I try to help myself, the worse I become and it is in moments like these that He reminds me of the sweet lessons I learned in Italy- in the chaos, find rest in His eyes. In the trial find strength in His arms. In the exhaustion find power in His whisper.

I find in Him all I need when I actually run to Him, but when I “run to Him” while sitting on my hands and expecting Him to make me His little robot, He allows me to stay where I am until I actually get up, use the feet He gave me, and truly come to Him.

In my flesh, I find so many self-destructive tendencies, but the most dangerous of all is the tendency to wander. Why is it that I wander away from Him when I KNOW that in Him is safety, rest, peace, and protection? Why do I give in to the flesh and neglect the spirit? Why do I leave His presence and then expect His power to manifest itself in my life?
Friends, I encourage you to be radical in your pursuit of Jesus. If there is something that hinders your run, get rid of it, if there is something that steals your gaze away from His face, remove it from the picture. He truly is the only thing worth having, the only thing worth attaining and this life is empty and vain without His daily companionship and constant grace.

I am ashamed to say don’t be like me as of late. These past few weeks I have allowed my heart to grow cold toward Him and I am not a person I would want to follow after. Instead be like those great men and women of old who have given everything to be with Him. Be like the Davids, the Pauls, the Hudson Taylors, the Jim Elliots. Be like those countless men and women who have sacrificed wealth, reputation, health, and life for the sake of knowing and being known by Him.

Six months ago I began this blog post with the title “Leaving the REST up to God” so I imagine I was going to talk about the rest I found in Him and how I didn’t know what was next, and how I was okay with that because I was leaving it up to God. To be honest, I don’t really remember what I was planning to write, but that doesn’t matter.
Today I finished this blog post and completely exposed myself as the lazy, unworthy, inadequate human that I am and that is so freeing. I have no spiritual wisdom with which to blow your mind and make your heart beat faster, but this I have and this I give to you; run to Him right now. He is calling out to you and beckoning you to come and lay at His feet. Cast your cares upon Him, talk to Him about your day, be open and honest with Him because He is longing to share time with you. He doesn’t want to spend time with you because that implies waste, He wants to share time with you because that implies mutual benefit for all (but especially for you).

In fact, I’m going to take my own advice and go share time with Him myself because I NEED Him, and so do you.

Happy seeking.