Counting The Cost
In this newsletter:
Update on my role in Japan.
Update on my health.
Update on the latest attacks from the enemy and my need for prayer.
I watched the Artemis II launch. Sneaking out of class under the hopeful guise that it looked like I needed to use the bathroom. I hid in a hallow and watched it with great joy and awe, even cheering them on as they lifted off the ground. Though as I sat there in the dark, phone held close to my eyes to take in every detail, my mind was racing, and one of the largest thoughts on my mind was, “did they count the cost?”
This crew sat atop a literal bomb that had such a slight margin for error to keep it from becoming just that, but did they count the cost?
No doubt they knew what they would be giving up if this launch went bad, and they were to explode. They had to have known the risks, and the thought occurred to me, that in this moment of my life, I too am counting these costs, weighing what I lose to what I gain.
I want to yet again ask for prayer, though it may seem repetitive and needy, I truly need it. I've watched as satan has ramped up his gears to try and do anything to dissuade me, and even just hurt me. He has attacked my health, a bulging disk in my back has made day to day life miserable and painful. My car ran over a nail and seeing it took the wind out of me, even if it was an easy fix. Though worst of all, my family has come under great attack health wise. And though I know the Lord will work it all out for good; is the current pain of not being there with them worth it?
The costs seem to keep racking up, and for what? This is the point that an unbelieving man would turn aside, a point were he would say that this is utter insanity, and turn back to his old life, choosing his comforts and his desire to preserve the very little he has, but I won't do that. The Lord has called me, how sweet is that sentence?
The days are ticking down as my leaving for Japan in September grows closer, and though there are many questions of what I can do there, I already have some clue.
I will be going there to help the head pastor of Calvary Chapel Abide, to support as needed, to help lift up his hands like Moses needed (Exodus 17:11-13). To help take some of the weight off of him as he runs the church and various ministries. My going there is to be like an assistant pastor to him. Though I keep counting the costs. What if I only go there to wash toilets? Giving up my family, my life, my health, my career. As a man it's hard to admit I want to cry over all of these, and probably will, but is it worth it?
YES!
It is all worth it to serve my Lord Jesus Christ, and if more comes, and I know it will, it will still be worth it, to my dying breath, it will be worth it. I am going not only to help the pastor, but to make connections with locals, and Lord willing, share Christ with them so that they might have the same hope and salvation that I have. The Lord has been good to me, and as I write this with tears in my eyes, I know he will always be good to me, but please pray. The costs hurt greatly, though they won’t dissuade me, they hurt, and my heart hurts as each one is tacked on. Satan has attacked in ways I never thought possible, but I will keep going, because the work is so greatly needed to be done over in Japan, that I won't turn from it, and I hope that you will join me in being apart of it as the Lord leads you to come along side me.
So as I count the cost, and all of you stand behind me in support, I know that no matter the price I might have to pay to serve the Lord, it’s nothing compared to the price he paid in my place. So I will go on praising him no matter what may happen, and no matter the attack. I will stand strong and keep on moving forward through what ever storm may come, until I see the light of dawn and hear “well done good and faithful servant.”
God bless you my friend.
~Bryan Barrow
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