Before I begin, I want you all to know that these newsletters are more than just updates on what God is doing in my life on the outside, but they are also about what God is doing on the inside, my heart. So, sit with me and let’s see what’s in store this time!
Well, I’m back from South Asia and it was a TIME! 3 months of my life where I was living in a whole other world! My time there was *beautifully difficult* and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. In South Asia, I believe My Father revealed a lot about my heart. I’d like to let you in so that you know that God is always at work, even if it doesn’t seem that way, rather it seems pointless.
When I arrived in South Asia, I was coming from the Middle East. I was already one and a half months into my trip and the ME took a lot out of me! At this point, I was physically sick but even more homesick. Not a good combo… yet I had 3 more months ahead of me. As I laid in bed defeated with my stomach turning in knots, I questioned, “how am I going to do this?”. It seemed IMPOSSIBLE. So, I took it day by day. The first step being, getting over this sickness! Once that was done, I was ready. Still missing home but pushing through and trying to enjoy myself. Praise God He had given me people to be open and honest with about how I was feeling. Our host family would check in to see how Macey and I were doing every week. I appreciated the wife’s help in this area.
Nevertheless, My Father had a plan for me being there and I had to believe that. One lie the enemy would repeatedly throw at me was, “there’s no reason for you to be here. Go home, you’re better off there”. Now one thing Rob Douglass was always good at in our culture class, was reminding us that we should always go with no expectations. I failed, haha! I expected to see so much fruit in ministry. I wanted to see people be saved, lives transformed, or witness crazy things that would grab the attention of supporters back home. I know this trip only consisted of 3 months, but I just wanted to see God move. I thought it’d be in that way. If you know God, you know He is always moving, but I failed to see it at this time.
A leader back home helped remind me what a vision tour was supposed to be. If I saw fruit in the ministry, great, but if I didn’t, then great! My job was to learn and seek the Lord. To scope out, then get alone with Him to seek His will in it all. So, I did that. In the end, I still didn’t understand why I spent that time there, but when I came home and processed everything, I saw why, and I finally came to peace. This is how God moved…
Through trial and discomfort, He allowed hard things to rise to the surface. Trials reveal what’s in the heart. What was in my heart? Fear, loneliness, pride, and a firm grip on MY identity, MY home, and MY plans. The thing about believers is that we are sojourners. God has given us a house on this earth, but our real Home is heaven. In my return back home, I felt weird. I didn’t feel like myself, although I know I was happy to be back with my family, I still didn’t feel like me. I wanted to be myself again, I wanted to have my joy which I felt I lost. Being away from home, away from the people you love, really brought me to understand that in My Father is everything that I need. He is my joy when I’m sad, my comfort when I need a hand to hold, and my person when I’m lonely. But more than that, He is God! He is the Creator of the Universe, the Savior of the world and He does great and mighty things! I realized that back at home, I was relying on so many things. There were things that propped my faith up. So, when it was all taken from me, I felt it, and later I saw it. Everything that God allows is a blessing, but don’t forget Him in it all. He is the main source, the ONLY one you need, because He is God, Jehovah Jireh!
Other than that, Macey and I got to experience what it was like living in South Asia together and she was an amazing travel partner! We made many friends and had awesome God given conversations with girls about our faith and Jesus.
Login To Leave Comment