Have you ever seen the movie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? You know the scene where Mike Teavee gets shrunk and Willy Wonka has the Oompa Loompas take him to the taffy puller to make him big again? Well that’s what this semester has been like for me.
I thought I had firm faith before coming here this semester, I thought I had learned to live by faith and trust God, but let me just say that I hadn’t (and probably still haven’t) seen anything yet. If you’ve followed me on my adventures through Bible College, you know that I am now pursuing my bachelor’s degree at Calvary Chapel Bible College in Murrieta through Calvary Chapel University. I shared a few posts ago about the higher tuition costs and the way God has provided, but recently my faith was put to the test.
I had to quit my job to come to school because it just didn’t make sense to commute back to Chino Hills a few days a week for work and I had planned on getting a job here in Murrieta. Approximately 20 applications later, the job search continues and a few weeks ago I found myself seriously doubting whether I had heard God’s voice correctly in coming here. I was out of money (I literally had less than $30 in my bank account), had no job, and had another $843 payment coming up. The horizon looked bleak and the only thing I had to cling to was God’s Word, His promises to take care of all of my needs, and the evidence of His provision throughout my entire life (which, looking back, is actually a lot to hold on to, but when what you need is money, it doesn’t seem like very much to go on).
I went up for prayer at the church I attend in Temecula and burst into tears as I explained my situation to the man trying to pray for me. It truly was an “I believe, Lord, help my unbelief” moment because I still believed that God would work, I just couldn’t see it. It was so encouraging to just get my doubts out of my heart and head and before the Lord. When I went to the restroom to clean myself up, a woman asked if I was ok and I explained that I had gone up for prayer, and thus the tears, and of course, in true feminine fashion I began crying again and she was able to encourage me and pray for me as well.
Not going to lie, I thought that God was going to use someone at the church to randomly come up to me and hand me a check that would solve all of my problems and when I drove away having received only spiritual sustenance, I was disappointed with God. I questioned what I was doing wrong, why God wasn’t providing for me, what I needed to do to get the money and through it
That week He gave me little reminders of His faithful provision through my cousin Fiona (who is a student here as well) giving me a cup of coffee and a box of Lara Bars. She just happened to have extra and asked if I wanted them, and through it, God reminded me that He sees and cares about the little things that are insignificant, so how much more does He care about the big things like my financial integrity to pay my bills on time?
I also had a dream that I was given a check for $5,000 and 25 cents and out of overwhelming
That Friday night when I was evangelizing at the mall, my partner and I ended up speaking with three believers and the Lord used them mightily to encourage both of us. We asked them what their prayer requests were and they asked us ours so I said “provision for school and a job” and by the end of the conversation the ladies had given me $150 for school.
I
was
undone.
God used three complete strangers to give me enough money to at least make a payment on the credit card I used to pay for school so that my credit wasn’t tarnished. Not only that, but a few days later a friend who had been evangelizing with us gave me an additional $100 for school!
God continues to confirm that this is what He has called me to and He is so, SO faithful. He just blows my mind, but I learned a lot about faith and grace through this experience.
Walking by faith means fighting off the doubts and silencing the lies that Satan throws at you by taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. It means allowing God to comfort you in your weakness and trusting His Word even when you feel like your prayers are falling on deaf ears. It means taking risks when you know that He has called you to something and then boldly walking in His promises.
And His grace.
Oh, let me tell you about His grace.
He is so kind and patient toward us. Even in the midst of my grumbling and complaining, He was preparing to bless me beyond my comprehension. I did not and do not deserve all that He has done for me. Neither do you. But that is exactly what grace is all about. It means receiving something you do not deserve and that is what God is all about.
I look forward to the future with great expectation and strengthened faith because I know the God to whom I have entrusted my life and I know His miraculous provision. I still have no idea where the rest of my tuition money is going to come from (Lord willing I get a job soon), BUT I know that God has already provided it and He will reveal that at the proper time. Until then, He is teaching me and I am so grateful for the lessons.
I humbly ask that you join me in praying for His continued provision and that you look to the Lord for whatever you are going through right now. He sees your needs, He knows your cares and He cares for them because He cares for you. Don’t look at your circumstances, the things which are seen and are temporary. Look to the things which are unseen and are eternal! God wants to blow you away with His faithfulness.
Know this, my friend, if it is difficult, it means that He is working on you and that He has some greater plan at work. Rest in His hands and let Him mold you through the trial. Let your faith be tested and strengthened according to His amazing grace.
Remember Mike Teavee? He started out as your average height 11 year