Friends, family, partners in the Gospel, how time has surely flown by. As I was writing my last correspondence in Mexico, I came down with COVID-19 and had to leave early as we had less than a week remaining. It was difficult leaving the amazing fellowship of my brothers and sisters and the opportunity to debrief together, especially knowing I was facing solitude in quarantine. But Christ alone is sufficient. One word from the R family that will always remain in my heart, is considering what might be propping up our faith. What blessings might we have in our relatively affluent lives that, if taken away, would affect our relationship with Christ? The opportunity for endless fellowship for instance, with numerous events for men, women and the body as a whole. We have families living in difficult areas of the world, areas that are oppressive and ultimately do not want them there. They cannot worship or speak of Jesus freely, and fellowship with other believers is slim to none. Like David, who for years was running and hiding for his life, God alone is their sole means of comfort; and He is more than enough.

Surrendering these potential props is of immense importance, especially as we are training and praying to go into these areas, into the harvest that is ready and in need of laborers. Surrender was the theme for us in Mexico. After writing down our hopes and dreams and watching them burn in a fire, we professed surrender of them to God, to the Holy One of Israel who can do exceedingly abundantly more than we ask or think. Personally, however, this surrender was merely lip service until I asked Him for help. Like the good, good Father He is He helped me in an entirely necessary way. It certainly has not been easy, but just last week there was a turning point. I woke up early in the morning to particularly strong spiritual warfare after an unnerving dream. After momentary disorientation, I went straight to prayer. It felt like I had claws in me that would not let go, I had even envisioned a single talon. After crying out to God for help a few times, I simply uttered, “Jesus.” I instantly felt a peace wash over me. God told me He did help me, and that help is Jesus Christ.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid – John 14:27

Broken down, I apologized to God for my struggling and surrendered my will and my life like I had never done before. It brought to mind Jacob’s wrestling with the angel. For so long Jacob relied on his own strength and cunning, he had to ultimately be crippled to come to a place of dependence on God.

LORD, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps. – Jeremiah 10:23

Amidst all of this, it has been such a blessing to hear God’s voice and feel His presence as He gently guides me through the plans He has for my life. It’s amazing to perceive Him establishing my steps as He reveals the pieces to my puzzle little by little. I have been feeling an increasing tug on my heart for the Muslim people. Hearing Jorden Skiles’ vision again, of people walking into a mosque but going into hell, really provoked me, even to the point of tears when discussing with a pastor. My heart especially breaks for the children, so helpless in their indoctrination and if orphaned, with little to no protection. God first put children on my heart when I was twenty and began working in parks and recreation, being surrounded by them regularly. And just this last Saturday I was blessed with the opportunity to serve at a trunk or treat for Voice of the Refugees. It was such a precious sight seeing their faces light up through engaging and devoting time to them. This little Egyptian girl in particular, Merola, absolutely stole my heart. I was talking with a brother, contemplating the eternal fate of children like her, and it was crushing.

Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. – Mark 10:14

I have been diligently praying through these emotions as well as prior words and visions, and am praying about an upcoming Jordan vision tour. Your support for this trip as well as my remaining School of Missions balance would be a tremendous blessing, and like Paul told the Philippian church, I am excited to see the fruit that will abound from it. Your prayers, though, are of utmost importance. We have confidence that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us, and He will make a way. As always, feel free to reach out, perhaps with prayer requests of your own!

Prayer Requests

• Continued surrender and complete dependence on God
• Continued revelation of His will for my life, with clarification of visions and words
• God’s provision for basic needs and trips to seek His will
• Further understanding of the Word to improve my teaching